


Drained by the Unlimited Tacos Pitching Machine for the Very First Time - A San Francisco Lovers Love at First Strike Tale

by ChulckTangle



Series: Love at First Strike [1]
Category: Blaseball (Video Game)
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2020-10-21
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:08:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27131590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChulckTangle/pseuds/ChulckTangle
Summary: The dramatized recollection of events that lead to Pitching Machine's first blood drain from San Francisco Lovers' Ortiz Lopez. A blaseball game gone absurd, and a training session gone sensual. Strap in bluckaroos for this latest tangler from Hulgo Award Winning Author, Chulck Tangle.
Relationships: Ortiz Lopez/Pitching Machine
Series: Love at First Strike [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1980337
Kudos: 11





	Drained by the Unlimited Tacos Pitching Machine for the Very First Time - A San Francisco Lovers Love at First Strike Tale

"You have got to be kidding me." Ortiz Lopez, Lovers batter and aspiring pitcher, couldn't believe when she heard how the league solved the problem of the Taco's shelled pitchers.

"They're just *giving* them a pitching machine? I'm not allowed to pitch, but the Tacos get an actual robot? This is so unfair!" Standing over 7 feet tall, Ortiz cut quite the imposing figure, and that doesn't count her head full of snake-hair constantly writhing about the air around her. She was not one to be messed with. Throughout the following week, Ortiz would tell each Lover no less than twice about how unfair it was that a machine was allowed to pitch for the Tacos.

Despite the complaints from Ortiz and others around the league, Pitching Machine proved its worth as a reliable pitcher, racking up strikeouts and wins alike, quickly climbing the idol leaderboard.

At the start of the second week, day 10, the Lovers would finally come face to face with the much-hyped Pitching Machine.

The Lovers first four batters were turned away effortlessly by Pitching Machine. Ortiz stepped up to the plate tentatively, shocked by the efficiency with which the machine dispatched the Lover's strongest batters. As an aspiring pitcher herself, she felt a growing sense of respect build underneath the layer of envy that she once viewed Pitching Machine with.

She gave herself a practice swing and turned to face the mound. What she saw took her breath away. A machine, no larger or more elaborate than absolutely necessary to achieve it's primary purpose, sleekly painted with the Taco's purple and yellow, with a sticker that proudly proclaimed a warning: "This machine kills fascists."

She was so stunned by its appearance, that as the first pitch sank too low for her to reach, "Ball one!" seemed to be whispered from a mile away, even though it came from the umpire standing just a few feet behind her.

She stood as stone as a second pitch sank too low to reach and was only slightly more aware of the "Ball two!" from behind her.

Before the next pitch, Taco's batter Basilio Fig ran to the mound to adjust the Pitching Machine's angle to account for Ortiz's height. Distracted by the glimmer of the sun's reflection off of Pitching Machine, she hardly noticed the ball before "Strike one!" finally snapped her out of her trance. She hit the next ball short into the grass, cursing the ground as she was tagged out at first.

She returned to the Lovers dugout in a haze. Teammates chattered, laughed, and cheered for each other around her, but Ortiz's thoughts remained on the silent, ruthlessly efficient, indisputably attractive piece of machinery on the mound. She knew she had to get closer to Pitching Machine than the 60 feet between the mound and home plate.

It wouldn't be until after the final game of the series that she had her chance. The other Lovers left together after the game to comfort each other after dropping all three games to Pitching Machine and the Tacos.

"You all go ahead, I want to get some extra pitching practice in tonight," she said, waving her team off. They laughed, but appreciated her determination to become a pitcher, so they weren't about to get in her way.

She had already arranged with the Wyatts and the Masons leave Pitching Machine behind after the game, to pick it up later, before their coming series in the Hellmouth.

"It's even more beautiful in the moonlight," she thought as she approached the mound. As her heart beat faster, she was all at once grateful that her snake-hair was less active at night. It made her appear calm, despite the fact she was anything but.

Unfamiliar with how to approach Pitching Machine, she decided to do what she does best and just be forward with it.

"Hi, I'm Ortiz. Your pitching was so fantastic! I just had to see you."

In response, a low humming sound, as Pitching Machine whirred to life.

"You know, I was so envious that you got to pitch, I really shouldn't have been so annoyed all week. You're really incredible. May I touch you?"

Pitching Machine whirred enthusiastically as its motor puttered faster.

Ortiz traced her finger gently along the "This machine kills fascists" sticker. "I love that you aren't afraid to fight for what's right in this world. We really could use more machines like you.

Pitching Machine hummed low and consistently in agreement.

"You know what? If I can't pitch, you should pitch. Better than before. Take my blood, become the best Pitching Machine you can be!"

Pitching Machine whirred in confusion as Ortiz prodded at one of her snakes, who lunged at down, missing her finger and biting her squarely in the neck. She let out a short, sharp moan before shooing the snake away to gather some of the blood from the snakebite on her finger.

"Here, take this," she told Pitching Machine, as she dripped her blood into its oil intake.

Before Pitching Machine could whirrr in protest, her blood was already in its system, supercharging its motor. It launched several blaseballs towards home plate, losing control at this infusion of new power.

Ortiz was taken aback by this reaction, but refused to be scared off, embracing Pitching Machine as it rattled and shot blaseballs out of its barrel. Sensing Ortiz's embrace, Pitching Machine calmed down and became accustomed to its newfound power.

With Blaseball's grueling schedule, Ortiz knew it was time to leave, but wanted to give Pitching Machine something else to remember their encounter by. She freshly applied the lipstick that all Lovers carry with them, and planted a kiss on Pitching Machine's side, leaving behind the Lover's trademark lips just next to its sticker.

With that, she left to meet up with the other Lovers, content in knowing that no more words would be necessary to commemorate the bond between herself and the Pitching Machine. And she could always look back at her lips, imprinted on Pitching Machine's side, and remember the night they shared together.


End file.
